Saying Sorry Is Maturity Not Stupidity – Wisdom Diary With Aboagye Frank Jackson
In this article, I would like to draw your attention to a very sensitive matter. You see, a lot of times many people think that saying sorry is not important but not only is saying sorry important but it heals wounds.
Saying sorry is maturity and not stupidity. The moment you mess up with someone, quick say sorry even if what you did was necessary.
You see, the end result is what i am focusing here. If your action was right, no one will feel hurt. If your action was right, no one will be sad.
Sometimes we might offend or sin against friends and family, and if this happens Christians are to confess our sins to God, and apologize to that person. Everything we do must be sincere.
A true friend would fix their relationship with others and pray for others instead of keeping pride and stubbornness in their hearts. Don’t let guilt linger in your heart. Go apologize, say I’m sorry, and make things right.
Apologizing helps repair relationships by getting people talking again and makes them feel comfortable with each other again. A sincere apology allows you to let people know you’re not proud of what you did, and won’t be repeating the behavior.
“Don’t apologize as a way to shut down the conversation and wipe the slate clean. That’s a shortcut that won’t work,” writes Cindy Frantz, a Professor of Psychology and Environmental Studies at Oberlin College and Conservatory.
Sometimes, vulnerability and fear, I think, are what keep people from acknowledging mistakes. Shame can be a factor too, and maybe a sense of ‘I want to be a good person, and good people don’t make mistakes and have to apologize.
Well, everybody makes mistakes. Apologies should be part of our normal, everyday language. Now, let me talk a bit about the 4 stages of maturity for further explanation.
Stages of Maturity
Infant. Very broadly, this stage includes everyone from 0-4 years of age.
Child. From ages 4-13, children are beginning to learn how to care for themselves.
Adolescent/Young Adult.
Adult/Parent.
The linkage to this stages of maturity is the 3rd and 4th stages. At this point an individual is fully grown to make decisions except when incapacitated where a certain kind of aid is applied or otherwise.
Wisdom is expected to be applied in these stages of maturity when dealing with people, whether they are colleagues, family members, relationships etc.
This is because people react individually and differently at matters and issues so therefore maturity is needed when someone feels hurt .Immediately you mess up, own up stretch out to apology and do no let sunset approach.
Listen, pleading guilty is not stupidity but adulthood. Adulthood is maturity and maturity is wisdom. Why do you have to be proud when you hurt someone? Why do you feel proud and defensive when you hurt someone?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I hope you clearly remember this Biblically? If you do, why wait for matters to get worse? The more a messed up person keeps the hurt and pain, it becomes a Curse on the perpetrator and until a forgiven heart is administered, this Curse can linger on generationally.
As humans, we hurt people and below are some of the words or sentences that show we are remorseful. Go ahead, use them and you will see the magic in them:
I am an imperfect being, but this does not justify the mistakes that I have made to you.
I never meant to upset you because you are valuable to me.
I always cause some mess.
I’m sorry for making you sad and hurting you because of my crazy temper.
The words ‘I’m sorry’ are just a part of conveying that message. The perpetrator needs to reaffirm the value and worth of the victim, and the importance of the relationship going forward.” Saying “I’m sorry” is just one piece of the apology puzzle. It’s the launching point that helps the offended party process what the person is saying as a true apology.
Rather than saying, “I’m sorry that you are hurt,” which claims no ownership in the hurt caused, the offender can express full compassion by saying, “I’m sorry I hurt you by doing …” followed by acknowledging the action brought to their attention.
Effective apologies can repair a relationship that would otherwise fade or end. When we put aside feelings of shame in order to take responsibility and make things right with someone we love or care about, we — and our relationships — are better for it.
Apologies are powerful. They bring us together. They are important because without them relationships can’t be repaired.
Admitting wrongdoing is a form of vulnerability, and vulnerability is an essential part of building a close relationship. Saying Sorry Is Maturity Not Stupidity. Saying Sorry Is Maturity and Maturity Is Wisdom. Do not let the appetite to say sorry be elusive to you.
Apologies won’t work if they lack genuine sincerity – that’s the watch word. Christmas is nigh, patch up, say Sorry and see the joy that follows.
Author Aboagye Frank Jackson
Broadcast Journalist
Email – [email protected]